Every time I meet someone new, the question of identity arises. We may just exchange names. I may say I am the new pastor at River of Hope Lutheran Church. However, if we talk for more than five minutes, I may mention my love for hiking, or cooking, or Ben and Jerry’s ice cream, or reading. If things get a bit deeper, I may relate one of my core beliefs, which is that I am a child of God. But sadly, I often forget.
I appreciate the writing of the late Henri Nouwen, a Dutch priest and a wonderful, prolific, spiritual writer. He names three lies that we are tempted to believe about our identity: I am what I have. I am what I do. I am what other people say about me.
Sometimes my identity gets wrapped up into things I have. I am the clothes I wear. I am the expensive car I drive. I am the fancy jewelry I wear. I have a nice house. I have a big family. I have good health. But then I might get depressed if I lack something. Having things is not negative, but sometimes who I am gets too connected to what I have and I forget that I am a child of God.
My identity can also get tangled in what I do. I am the grades I achieve. I am the victories in some sport. I am the lesson plans I have created. I am the children I have raised. Doing things are certainly a big part of who we are, but our identity and self-worth can become dependent on our achievements. I may feel low when I don’t achieve my goals because I forget who I am: a beloved, child of God.
I may also be tempted to believe that I am what others say about me. Have you ever done something and received positive feedback, but then one person says something negative and it derails you? I write music. One time someone told me they really liked a song I had published, but there was one word that they did not like. They thought it was clunky. I have thought a lot about that comment, because I am tempted to forget that my identity comes from important words Jesus heard at his baptism.
Those words helped Jesus face similar lies right after his baptism:
“Turn these stones into bread.” — Do something!
“All these kingdoms of the world can be yours.” — Have something!
“Jump off this high place and let people catch you.” — If you are who others say you are!
Jesus did not believe the lies. It did not matter what people said or did to him. In the end, he lived his life from an understanding of what he heard when he was baptized. Today, I try to remember that those words to Jesus are for us as well: “You are my child, the Beloved; with you I am well pleased.” Mark 1:11
