Down in the dumps. The blues. Whatever you want to call it, depression is a real disorder that many Americans live with every day.
May is Mental Health Awareness Month, and I’d like to share my personal struggle with depression. And that’s OK — many people live and work around their depression and form a sort of “functional” depression or “high-functioning” depression. They may seem like they keep up with their responsibilities or continue doing school and work just fine, but they can still be living with depression.
I’ve struggled with depression for most of my life. When I was younger and did not know much about mental health or depression, I started to feel hopeless. I did not reach out to my parents or teachers when I began experiencing these feelings. I thought my feelings of despair would go away if I just kept living my life. They didn’t.
I was 12. What should a 12-year-old be depressed about? I wasn’t sure. But the persistent feeling of sadness remained, interfering with school and activities. The disorder festered and grew, overhanging and looming above me at all times, so much so that I could barely function. My grades suffered. My friendships suffered. This continued on for years until it became unbearable, and I finally asked for help.
I still live with depression, but it’s become more manageable. Functional depression comes in many shades — there’s no definitive look or age group the disorder affects. Functional depression can emerge as waking up too late, little to no interest in activities, insomnia, anxiety, self-loathing, lack of self-care (such as grooming) and many other symptoms. It’s not a one-size-fits-all kind of disorder. Someone you love and may be close to could be hiding their depression very well from you.
The 2017 Blue Cross Blue Shield Health Index report released recently indicated some alarming news for people born between 1981 and 1996, such as myself. According to the data and findings, mostly older millennials — age 34-36 — and younger are less healthy than Gen X people at that age. In fact, the statistics show a jump in more than 30 percent of millennials in this age group reporting being depressed or diagnosed with depression.
Maybe it’s our age group, maybe its the economy, maybe it’s student loans or a number of factors facing young adults in the world now. Maybe it’s for no particular reason at all, but depression does exist, and it’s affecting the next-biggest workforce group in America.
Being depressed doesn’t mean lesser than or pathetic. The stigma tied to depression can be just as bad as having depression. I try to work on myself every day and stay positive despite my depression. Sometimes it seems insurmountable and makes you feel immobile, but it’s not always like that. If your adult child is suffering from depression, don’t shame them or tell them “just get over it.”
If it were as simple as “just getting over it,” I don’t think 16 million adult Americans would have depression. Having a parent to talk to and navigate these emotions can be as important as seeking help for coping with depression. There’s nothing wrong with your kid if they have depression — they just need support and encouragement.
Shutting out your depressed loved one or telling them you don’t want to be around them because they are “too depressed” can affect their overall well-being. I’m not saying don’t take care of yourself and abandon your needs to put your loved ones first, I’m saying just be there to support them through their diagnosis and recovery.
I know that I’ve changed significantly, in a positive way, since I was first diagnosed with depression. I’m more motivated and active, I try to take care of myself, put myself first and treat myself better. Depression has been a long journey that has taught me so much about the world and my perception of life. It’s helped me to be more empathetic and understanding to those around me, as they may be going through issues in their life that remain hidden.
Depression is real. Trying to function with depression is hard but not impossible. Whether you or someone you love has depression, just know it doesn’t make you or that person less. Be supportive of those around you as you may never know their personal journey and struggles.
Learn more about depression or speak to someone regarding depression at crisistextline.org.
